Star Fox: Cascade Misshaps
by XxSanitariumxX
Summary: After a rather successful and well paying mission, the Star Fox team decides to celebrate with partying and drinking. Yet when the night fades and the team wallows in their collective hangovers, three familiar faces arrive to amplify their already intense suffering. 2nd SS Contest,
"WHOO! ANOTHER!" a wild and eccentric lynx shouted at the top of her lungs before throwing her bottle of beer against the ground.

The glass shattered into a thousand pieces eliciting a cry of victory from most and fear from the rest. Despite better judgement, the feline was handed yet another bottle which she drank deeply from until only a swallow or two remained. Wiping her mouth and letting out a loud burp, the lynx and all the other females giggled at her boorishness.

"Oh, Miyu! You're such a savage!" laughed a very wobbly canine with white fur, blue eyes, and a bright red bow in her mid-back length hair.

Miyu grinned wickedly and her eyes shed the thick drunken malaise and now glimmered with evil intent. "I'll savage you, Fay! C'mere!"

"NO!" squealed the canine and began running around the recreation room as the ferocious lynx chased after her.

Their run didn't end until both of them were flat out exhausted; panting and giggling on the ground as they caught their breath. On the couch ahead of them sat two foxes cuddling and murring up a storm making anyone and everyone around them feel very awkward. Especially the green amphibian sitting as far away from them on the same couch as possible.

"You're beautiful," said the red one.

"No, _**you're**_ beautiful!" said the blue one and proceeded to lick, nip, and kiss at the male's neck.

"K-Krystal! Not here! Every… everyone's here right now!" the red one protested, not really trying to pull the blue one off.

"We already did it on this couch, what's the harm in another go, stallion?" murred Krystal, reaching for the triangular belt buckle at Fox's waist.

"Okay!" a green toad gasped and jumped off the couch as fast as possible. "Sitting next to you two is too much, I'mma go get some more…" he trailed off and started mumbling about "damn horny foxes ruining the upholstery."

"Get me one, Slippy!" a blue and red feathered pheasant called, trying to keep his eyes off of the disgusting display of public affection.

"Just let me see it!" Krystal giggled as she wrestled with Fox to get his pants off.

"You're drunk, you lush!" Fox protested and wound up on his back and his hands locked onto his girlfriends to keep her from pulling his pants down.

"I am not!" Krystal laughed and gave up rather suddenly just to gain the privilege of resting her head against the Lylat system's most comfortable bed in existence. "You're so soft! Have you been using my conditioners?"

Fox's eyes became shifty. "That girly stuff? No! I use man's shampoo cause I'm man!"

Krystal buried her nose into the thick and creamy white fur of the tod until he yelped with surprise at her cold nose touching the sensitive skin. He shivered when she took a deep sniff.

"You have! That's not that garbage you get at the store and rub all over yourself. That's Vixen's Guile!" Krystal growled and took another whiff of her vulpine's chest.

"Ey!" the slurry sounding feline grunted as she appeared over the back of the couch looking down at the two foxes. "What happened to seeing Fox's snake? That flight suit leaves little enough to the imagination, Foxy Fox McCloud!"

Fox's face flashed red. "Miyu, I will have you thrown out an airlock!"

"Okay, Miyu!" Fay said stepping in once she noticed the mischievous glint in her friend's eyes. "Let's go before you pull Fox's pants down again."

"Hey! I only did it that one other time!" Miyu protested as Fay manhandled her out of the room.

"When he was asking Fara to the prom, you jerk!"

With that, the canine and feline stepped out of the room. Their arguing and bickering could be heard until they were long gone. Their absence made the room and party feel like it was dying as Miyu's raw drunken energy could keep the room jumping for hours and without her, there was a noticeable draw.

"And to think she has a husband and a kid!" Falco said shaking his head.

"Husband and kid," cooed Krystal drunkenly, almost longingly.

"Uh, Falco?" Fox asked, starting to feel very nervous.

"With a quiet little house and white picket fence," Falco droned on, ignoring the red fox's silent motions for him to stop.

"Picket fence," Krystal hummed, snuggling even deeper into Fox's chest.

"While she's out gallivanting among the stars, he's at home raising their little hybrid baby," Falco finished, his smirk evident now.

"Falco," groaned Fox as Krystal rose to look Fox in the eyes.

"Where's my husband, kid, and house?" Krystal asked rather offended by the happiness and joy she was seemingly denied.

"Uh… well, we're not- we're not yet… uh…" Fox stammered out as his muzzle became redder and Krystal's mood became more sullen.

Without warning the tod burst out howling and laughing as Krystal began ravaging his sides with her fingers in a ticklish torture.

"Give me husband! Give me children! Give me house!" Krystal slurred out as she held the tod under her power.

Again Falco began to shift around uncomfortably but thankfully Slippy came back with the beers finally.

"So Miyu is throwing up in the bathroom and crying… again. Fay's holding her hair but we might have to swing by Zoness real soon so she can see her family," Slippy said as he walked into the room only to find Krystal chanting.

"Give me husband! Give me children! Give me house!"

The toad shivered and squirmed. "Usually I only hear her scream that is when their bed is slamming into the wall. Beer, Falco?"

"Please!" gasped the avian and quickly downed half of it. "This is getting a little too awkward. I think I'm gonna go hit the sack here in a few."

Slippy blinked and gave Falco a questioning look. "Why not go now?"

"Um… no reason. Mind your own business you nosey, noseless hop toad!" growled the pheasant.

Slippy raised his hands in the air. "Whoa, whoa! No need to be so hostile."

The toad walked back over to the couch but took one look at the drunken couple and thought better of it. Instead he opted out for a spot on a small loveseat couch rather than be near the affectionate and rather loopy foxes.

"Hey lovebirds! Why don't you take it somewhere else!" barked the avian once Fox had managed to calm Krystal down and were now smooching up a storm of wet lip against lip sounds.

"Don't be jealous, Falco. We all know it's been almost six months since you've had any," Krystal sneered and gave Fox an extra-long, wet, and sloppy kiss. Fox didn't respond. He was on cloud nine after that kiss.

Falco scoffed. "Oh yeah. Unlike for some, it's not convenient for us to bring our fuck-in-a-box onboard and have her fly on missions with us."

"Mmm, fuck-in-a-box," Krystal moaned. "Fox, whisper that in my ear a couple of times."

"OKAY!" Falco and Slippy said and jumped up to their feet.

"I'm out! Y'all do whatever it is you freaky foxes do when the lights are off," growled Falco and finished off his beer.

Before Falco and Slippy could leave the door burst wide open and a loud victory cry reverberated through the room.

"SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!"

"Miyu, I don't think that's a good-" Fay meekly tried to protest but was silenced by the energetic lynx.

"Shut up, Fay and get on the pool table! I wanna do body shots off your hotness!" Miyu growled playfully and rubbed her muzzle into the white canine's neck.

"Miyu, I really don't-"

"NOW, POODLE-GIRL!" Miyu hissed, eliciting a yip of fright from the canine and her obedience. "And where are you both off to? Get over there and help me with this handle!" growled the lynx, holding up a bottle of rather expensive vodka.

"Not that human shit again!" Falco bemoaned but knew he had no choice.

Miyu stomped over to the couch that Fox and Krystal were lying on and grabbed them both by their scruff. "Up you two!"

Before anyone could fathom what was going on Fay was giggling and shivering as Miyu laid out some vodka on her trim little tummy.

"Why does it always come down to doing shots off of Fay?" Slippy groaned.

"Cause we tried it off of you once and you started excreting mucus from your skin!" Miyu growled before clambering on top of the pool table. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a shot to take."

"Wait, Miyu!" Fay protested and held the feline's thirsty lips from her belly. "We should make a toast first." Grabbing a full shot glass off the table, Fay held it in the air and declared, "To Star Fox, to victory, and of course to being stinking rich!"

"To being stinking rich!" Everyone else echoed before slamming back the shot.

"AHHH!" Krystal exhaled and slammed her glass down on the table. "Just like the wine on Cerinia."

"Oh god!" Falco said and held a hand up to his beak. "I think I'm gonna… no… yup! No- YUP… no I'm good."

"Quit being sucha bitch, Fally," Krystal laughed and slapped him on the back.

"Yeah! You talk big but when it comes to actually putting them on the table, guess who backs down with his tail feathers between his legs," Miyu sniggered as she poured another shot on the poodle.

"Oh! Oh, I'm a bitch?" Falco sneered and threw up his glass. "Pour another one. I'll out drink all of you!"

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

"Oh god. Oh god, someone kill me."

The red fox held his head in his hands while his own heart beat like a drum in his ears. Everything was spinning and he was stuck along for the ride. He tried to roll over but found that several bodies were draped over him. One of which was his longtime girlfriend, Krystal which wasn't so bad, but the other was of a rather portly toad that felt like three Krystals combined.

His hand reached for the vixen's back and began scratching.

"Hey… hey, Krystal? Could you get up, please?" he asked but his own voice and breath offended him so much he nearly blacked out from pain and disgust.

Krystal made a noise but that was the best he could get from her. Thus Fox realized it was up to him to get the piles of fur and skin off. Groaning every step of the way, Fox managed to sit up and with shaky arms, pushed Krystal off. The poor vixen flopped off of him and the couch, landing with a muffled thud on the floor yet she did not wake. Understandable considering she drank more than him and was always a bit of a lightweight. Next came Slippy, who was draped across his legs.

"Couldn't have skipped desert every now again, could ya' Slip?" Fox growled as he rocked the frog until he too fell to the floor with a squishy thump.

Fox rubbed his bloodshot eyes and looked around. The entire rec room was an absolute mess with bottles of beer, vodka, and juice bottles strewn all throughout. His team was passed out in various places and positions with Falco's being the funniest having perched atop the bookshelf and fallen asleep there. Miyu on the other hand was holding a body pillow with her husband's picture on it and Fay somehow found her way into a jar of peanut butter.

The tod stood up and with his still shaky arms, picked up Krystal and put her back on the couch with a pillow. Slippy was on his own though, as he weighed a lot more than what Fox was willing to pick up without a forklift. Slowly he stumbled out of the rec room, his every footfall sending jolts of ache to his head.

Water. Oh god he needed water. And aspirin. Lots of aspirin.

Reaching his own private bathroom, Fox riddled through his cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pills. Taking two was the recommended amount for his age, specie, and body weight, but that was exactly why he ignored the recommendation and opted for five. Once in his mouth, Fox turned on his sink and lapped and lapped and lapped until his belly was full of water.

In about five minutes he started to feel a little better, but the fluorescent lights that hummed above him were like chainsaws to his sensitive eyes and ears. With a whimper and a whine, the poor red fox trekked the perilous ten feet from his bathroom to his bed and let the artificial gravity do its thing. He landed with a muffled flump and resisted the urge to throw up but only barely. Back in his own comfortable -not to mention expensive- bed, Fox let out a long sigh before taking in the familiar scents of his little nest.

"Ahh… Krystal," Fox whispered, his nose buried in her pillow. "How I wish you were here… but last time you threw up in bed, and I am **not** running these sheets through the laundry another five times."

Fox shut his eyes while a goofy grin crept across his muzzle. Krystal made it up to him for that, and boy was it something special. She woke something within him, something adventurous, spirited, and downright kinky. Maybe it was the inner fox within him or just something crazy all together. Either way, his relationship with Krystal took on a deeper and more sensual role than ever before.

With the grin still worn on his muzzle, Fox settled in for a much needed rest to sleep off his aching hangover. That is until all hell broke loose.

Red warning lights, blaring sirens, and ROB's obnoxiously synthetic voice rang through every room in the Great Fox.

"Incoming hostiles! Scramble all fighters! Engage the enemy!"

Fox's bloodshot eyes opened with a snap. "NooooOOOOOOO **OOOOOO** _ **OOOOOOOOOO**_!"

Not even a minute later, Fox was back in the rec room expecting to see his comrades up and readying for battle. Only, that was not what he saw. Instead, he saw a bunch of fully grown children wallowing in self-pity and hangovers as the lights flashed and sirens sang.

"Fox! Turn the fucking sirens off, you asshole!" Fay growled which was most uncommon for her to swear.

"Great time for a fucking drill, Fox! The minute I can, I'm going to punch you SO HARD IN THE DICK!" Falco concurred with the ornery canine.

"It's not a drill, guys! Someone's really attacking us! Everyone get up! Now!" Fox said moving to Miyu and trying to shake her awake but all she did in response was hug her dakimakura tighter.

Everyone who could retort did, and of course Fox was the bad guy.

"Yeah right! You've had a hard on for doing drills the past month, and now you're being a total dick and having one now!" Falco growled, covering his ear holes.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Fay whined.

"Guys! I'm serious! We're under a-"

As Fox tried to plead his case, the entire ship rocked from a sudden impact. It was so strong that it caused the lights to flicker and everything not bolted down or secure to jerk. While Fox fell to his knees he heard a loud squawk and a loud thud followed by a whole slew of curses, not all of them from the avian that just fell from the top of the bookshelf.

"OH! Real fucking cool, Fox! How long did it take you to simulate a collision!?" Falco shouted as he laid atop a pile of books. "When I get my hands on you-"

"Aw damn it to the deepest pits of Neraxus!" came the bitter scowl from the blue vixen who was presumed passed out just seconds before.

At the sound of that, everyone who was able stood up and started heading towards the hanger bay. There were only three things Krystal damned to Neraxus. The first being anyone speaking condescendingly of her ruined planet, her people, or her culture. The second being anyone who even dared cross her team and family, Star Fox. The third being a cute at first but now loathsome and detestable feline by the name of Panther Caruso.

One would think that after shooting him down, he'd stop hitting on her. But no. Even when Miyu joined the team it got worse as the irritating jungle cat now had two targets of his "affection." It was insufferable and at least Miyu had the luxury of not being a telepath and seeing some of the revolting things that went through the pervert's mind.

By the time everyone made it to the hanger, most were panting or hunched over ready to evacuate everything in their stomach. Fox jumped inside his Arwing and was about to pull the cockpit canopy down but found he was alone.

"GUYS!" Fox shouted.

"I'm coming," groaned Krystal while she leaned against her Arwing for support. "I'm come…" she said just before lurching over forwards and holding a hand to her muzzle. "Babe? Can you take this one?"

"I can't handle all of Star Wolf on my own!" Fox snapped and threw a grease pen at Falco who was about to pass out in the cockpit of his Arwing. "Guys! SERIOUSLY!"

It took the act of leaping out of his own cockpit and stuffing everyone in their Arwings respectively to get the ball rolling. Annoyingly, it took a good five minutes and several hits to the hull before everyone was ready.

"Alright! You guys ready?" Fox asked, slightly panting a little.

"All systems green on my end," Slippy said in a low whisper.

"Oh, don't say green. Don't even mention green!" Miyu bemoaned, her face looking a little… jadish. "I'm fine though, let's go shoot these fucks and… let's just go."

"Miyu- MIYU!" Fox shouted as Miyu launched out of the hanger, foregoing Star Fox's trademark dramatic launch sequence. Fox rubbed his temples while a huge migraine overcame him. "I swear to god, you're all fired after this."

"What was that, Fox?" asked Fay over the radio.

"Nothing," Fox growled. "Just… just go. All of you go."

Finally the Star Fox team flew into battle though a lot less gracefully than any other time before. Their formations were skewed and uncoordinated, a few of the six fighters would lean off track only to be reprimanded by their leader.

"Alright you guys. This is just like any other time. It's three to six, just keep to your wingman and don't let them get tailed and we'll… oh god, what does _**he**_ want?"

Fox hesitated but opened up the all to familiar line with the Star Wolf leader Wolf O'Donnel. Immediately he was rewarded with Wolf's snarling.

"Just what the fuck took you guys so long!?"

Fox's headache reverberated. "You kinda caught us at a bad time, Wolf."

"Bad time? Bad time!?" Wolf snapped so loudly that Fox put the lupine on mute and let him ramble on whilst the two teams flew in formations. When he finally looked like he was going to calm down, Fox unmuted him, "-with a god damn pig!"

"Wolf… look. I know we've been through a lot together… mostly bad, but do you think you and your team could just kinda… fuck off?"

Wolf's sole lavender eye grew wide as he tried to comprehend what his perfectly good (if a little chipped in some places) ears heard. "Excuse me?"

Before Fox could respond, Miyu interjected. "We're hungover as fuck from celebrating yesterday's mission. You know, the one where we sent you packing with your tails between your legs?"

"Ah," said another person that barged their way into the once two person call. "The fiery passion and spirit of the ever beautiful Miyu."

"Oh god," said Miyu, holding her stomach and leaning over in her cockpit.

"My dear Miyu, if you are in distress, Panther would certainly oblige in nursing you back to health," said the suave voice of Star Wolf's… other pilot.

"Fly into a meteor and I'd feel so much better right now," growled Miyu, her live video feed turning from green to red.

"Ah, my little Mimi-"

Miyu's ears perked at the sound of Panther's ludicrous nickname before a loud retching sound played over the frequency and her live feed changed from her face to a wash of vomit. Everything became silent save for the sounds of engines in everyone's cockpits. As Fox opened his muzzle to check if Miyu was okay, Miyu beat him to it.

"It's everywhere," she whined.

The coms were as akin to a night casted graveyard. The lynx let out a few quiet sobs and though it brought his team's effectiveness by losing his ace hunter killer, Fox dismissed the lynx.

"Miyu… go clean up and get some rest," said Fox with a pitiable tone.

"Thanks, Fox. Sorry, I really didn't-"

"Oh, my poor little Mimi-" the suave jungle cat said before another retch could be heard over the coms.

"WOLF! If you don't stop letting your teammates harassing my crew, I will sue the fuck out of you!" a rather squeaky but threatening voice sounded.

"S-Sue me?" Wolf stammered, hardly believing what he heard. "Listen here, Toad! You send any kind of lawyer my way and I promise you I'll send him back to you in his briefcase! You hear me!?"

Fox leaned back in his chair and wondered what had become of his life. Not a single shot had been fired, Panther had finally pushed Miyu over the edge to the point of projectile vomiting, and now Wolf and Slippy were in a heated legal mumbo jumbo battle with no ending in sight.

" _Fox, let's dust these fools while we have the chance. They're distracted and we have the element of surprise!"_ the beautiful but at the moment hazed and groggy sounding telepathic voice whispered within Fox's mind.

" _Should we though? We're down Miyu and aside from Slippy, you and I are the only ones that are even flying straight. Falco and Fay are already one foot in the bag as is. If I can just negotiate-"_

" _No! No negotiations! If I get one more dick pick from that accursed feline-"_

"Who's been sending you dick pics!?" Fox roared aloud, silencing the chatter over the frequencies.

"Uh-oh," the jungle cat said and the Wolfen ship with a giant rose painted on the side broke formation.

"PANTHER!" Fox shouted and likewise broke formation to give chase to the fleeing feline.

"I-I-It's not what you th-think, McCloud!" Panther stammered as he took evasive actions while Fox poured every ounce of his will, energy, and rage into the blazing hot guns of his Arwing. "It was an accident! Panther never intended to send Krystal such a shameless picture! That one was meant for Mimi! Mimi got the picture of Panther shirtless instead by mistake- WOLF! HELP ME!"

Where normally a bottomless void blanketed by twinkling little lights once existed, suddenly was filled with a ceaseless discharging fountain of blue energy bolts and grand explosions of the dreaded Nova bombs. Panther juked and jived to and fro but his luck was fast running out while Fox's ire knew no satiation.

"Hold that thought, fly-breath, we'll finish this when I get back!" Wolf snarled at Slippy and banked towards the deadly game of cat and mouse.

The fearless lupine tried with all his might to tear the rabid vulpine off of his teammate's tail, but the red fox was out for blood. It was a little troubling to see the usually calm, reserved, and well calculating rival to be as ruthless and bloodthirsty as a liquored up merc with a gun and something to prove. As gratifying as it was to see him stoop to such a level, it was overshadowed by the fact that if Fox wasn't stopped, Wolf would have to put out another advert on top of the other one. A three man squadron was sad enough let alone two.

"Fox! Fox damn you, get off him!" Wolf said and tried to shoot off the vulpine's wing but wound up watching his shots zing off the Arwing as it preformed that annoying aileron roll.

"What a lovely day! What a lovely day!" Fox cackled as he finally managed a lock on the feline.

"WOLF!" Panther cried out in terror before a Nova bomb came barreling at him at near Mach speed.

"NO!" Wolf shouted and turned his fire at the Nova bomb.

Only one shot was allowed to the lupine before the Nova bomb came within lethal range. To make such a shot would be like someone making a shot off through the image of a window reflected off the tears of a butt hurt Panther lover. The hardest part of that being finding someone who actually liked the bastard. Yet as impossible as it all was, Wolf could only trust his instincts and pulled the trigger.

The Nova bomb detonated with a brilliant explosion that lit up like the sun for all five seconds of its existence. When the light finally cleared, two Wolfen's yet remained.

"Oh Panther's various goddesses of fertility," whispered the feline.

"Holy shit," Wolf echoed, likewise unable to comprehend his amazing shot that saved his wingmate's life.

Fox's Arwing held still. Inside the machine of war, the vulpine sat utterly dumbstruck with his muzzle hanging wide open, eyes bugged out, an ears furled back. What kind of sadistic god would deny him this; deny him his vengeance? Surely the wretched jungle cat deserved oblivion, so why wasn't he now nothing but ashes in space? The longer Fox thought about it, the more he felt cheated of his retribution.

"Damn, Wolf. That was a good shot!" Falco said over the coms but of course Falco being Falco, couldn't just let Wolf have the compliment in full. "I've probably made at least three shots that good before, but that's still good."

" _Honey? Foxy-Woxy, are you alright?"_ asked Krystal as she flew up close to check up on him.

" _No. I'm still made as hell and now I'm out of Nova bombs. Those are expensive,"_ Fox replied, his thought patterns conveying to Krystal just how hollow he felt at the moment.

" _If it makes you feel any better, you're way bigger than-"_

" _How is that supposed to make me feel better? I don't care what size it is, the fact that he sent it is just the worst! And why didn't you tell me before!?"_ Fox asked, his anger rounding on the blue vixen.

" _Because I knew you'd get this way, darling,"_ Krystal cooed, her mind sending him soothing waves to try and calm the enraged fox. _"You'd no doubt steer the Great Fox on a direct collision course with Sargasso guns blazing and put everyone's lives in jeopardy."_

" _You should have told me,"_ pouted the vulpine, wishing he had just one more Nova bomb and cursed the designers for making a bay large enough for only nine.

" _I know, and I'm sorry. I did it for your own good though,"_ assured the vixen, her telepathic therapy working as it always did on the riled up tod. _"Tell you what, when we get back I'll do that_ _ **thing**_ _you like so much."_

Fox gulped. _"R-Really!?"_

" _For as long as you like, Foxy-Woxy."_

"Guys! We gotta go," Fox said over the radio much to the lupine's protest.

"Not so fast, McCLoud! We've got business to settle and I'm not-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Fox said and shot a bolt at Wolf's engines, damaging them and knocking his Wolfen out of commission.

"Wha? You- you impudent little-" Wolf started to scream but Fox cut off his line.

"Everyone, get back to the ship and do whatever. I don't care! No one better knock on my door either or I swear to god I'll launch you out the airlock with a pink slip!" Fox snarled and boosted straight towards the Great Fox, leaving a blue trail of light and exhaust in his wake.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

"Come on, come on! Let's go, let's go!" Fox whined as he waited for the elevator.

Krystal smirked as she watched her vulpine squirm. Ever since she took their relationship to such a deeply intimate level, the man was utterly willing and downright craving further affection. Some things were perfectly innocent and cute such as pampering, cuddling, and sharing mind waves. Yet other things were so scandalous that Fox would die of embarrassment if his team or anyone else found out.

"No need to rush," Krystal cooed as she slid up behind the man, her arms wrapping around his arms and chest while her muzzle pointed up into his ear. "Savor the suspense. Let the moment sink in."

Fox shivered and his entire body fluffed up. Krystal's sultry words were intoxicating. It didn't help him calm down any, rather the opposite. His heart surged blood through his veins, enflaming his bod with heat and lust. He loved Krystal, but now he felt something even deeper than that. Something carnal that he never knew existed within himself.

Finally the elevator arrived and despite the raging inferno within the man, both foxes stepped into the elevator calmly and collectedly. Fox looked down the hallways for anyone needing to step in as well but found not a soul. The man pressed the button to descend two levels. Watching the doors close was like watching a fleck of dust in the air fall to the ground. When the doors shut with a click, the elevator didn't even have time to move before the two foxes' bodies slammed together.

"I love you!" Fox said when they pulled away just long enough to gasp for air.

"I know," Krystal replied and grabbed his hair and pulled up to allow access to his neck with her teeth.

Fox gasped with surprise but trembled with excitement. No foreplay tonight. Just raw, unadulterated, Berry White playing in the background love making. The doors to the elevator opened but were someone to be standing at the awning in wait, they wouldn't have found a frantic make out session but two collected foxes that were breathing a little fast.

Fox and Krystal walked hand in hand to the Captain's personal chambers, all the while Krystal planted lude images and situations in the already boiling man's mind. Fox swiped his hand in front of the door, opening it and allowing them to enter. The door closed behind him and Fox rounded on the vixen, ready to shred the clothes off her perfect body with his claws, only for her to stop him with a single finger.

"Miyu? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Krystal asked, having noticed the wildcat lying on the bed, clutching the dakimakura of her husband.

"I threw up in my bed," Miyu mumbled with a very pain filled voice. "I think I'm sick. Take care of me."

"Oh but of course, Miyu! You poor thing! Did Panther really rub off on you that much?" Krystal asked, leaving Fox's flabbergasted side to sit by the lynx.

"Don't say his name, please," Miyu begged and curled up into a ball on her body pillow.

Fox threw his arms out at the wildcat lying on his bed and gave Krystal a questioning look. Krystal's response was a stern look of her own, destroying any chance of the tod getting laid tonight. Slumping his shoulders and rolling his eyes, Fox walked over to his bathroom and fetched some medicine.

"Here," Fox grunted, handing Miyu a small shot of medicine. "Now get out and go sleep in the den!"

"Fox!" Krystal gasped and gave him a shove. "We're not kicking her out, we're gonna make sure she's okay first!"

"Thank you, Foxy-Woxy," Miyu purred despite his rudeness and took the medicine and slugged it down. "I'm sorry I ruined your sexy time."

Krystal smiled and patted the lynx on the head. "Think nothing of it. I'll just have to treat him extra nice tomorrow."

"You gonna rim him again?"

Fox's heart stopped beating entirely. His eyes became glassy and any warmth within him was snuffed out like a candle. His ears were ringing with Miyu's lewd question. It took nearly a full minute to recover enough to look at Krystal who was wide eyed and covering her muzzle.

"What did you say?" Fox asked, his voice a mere echo of a whisper that only the acute of ear could hear.

"You know these walls are paper thin, right? I hear _**everything**_ through them, and hearing you moan like a slut is something I've never heard before. Plus, Krystal told me and Fay last time we were on shore leave," Miyu explained to the horror struck vulpine. "Now, are you going to nurse me back to health, or am I going to have to make another forum post on telling everyone about how much of a jerk you are and that you like your ass eaten?"

Fox looked to Krystal who merely shrugged her shoulders. "Well… I don't care either way. So what if everyone knows I'm willing to please my man in every conceivable way?"

"Are you NUTS!?" Fox screamed and pointed his finger at the lynx. "Out the airlock, pink slip, NOW!"

"You're gonna throw me out the airlock? I wonder what my hubby would have to say if you came back to Corneria without me? My baby girl would cry, angers would heat, and you'd probably be skinned alive," Miyu said as cattishly as she could.

"I won't save you either," Krystal giggled while the terror froze over the vulpine. "If you kill one of my best friends, you're fighting _**him**_ on your own."

Fox mulled it over in his head for a while. On the one hand he'd save his reputation from any chance of scandalous besmirching yet he would be throttled to death by Miyu's husband and his freakishly large man hands. On the other hand he could cave in to Miyu's demands and pray for the rest of his days that she never spills the beans on his most clandestine kink.

"There's a good boy. Now go bring Krystal and eye some dinner. Soup please. Momma always said to starve a cold and feed a fever! Chop, chop!" Miyu said and snapped her fingers.

Fox slumped out of the room. The sound of two girls giggling only rubbed salt in his wounded pride. Never had he felt so defeated, not even when he lost twelve-to-zero in a flight simulator against Krystal when she first asked to join. A rookie pilot demolished him and all because he had absolutely no idea she was just playing around with his mind the entire time.

" _Foxy, baby. Are you gonna be fine or should I put Miyu into witness protection?"_ Krystal asked just as Fox made it to the kitchen to prepare some canned soup.

" _Yeah, babe. Just as long as Miyu keeps her promise I won't end her,"_ Fox replied mentally.

" _I'll talk to her. I'm sorry about all this. I told her to keep her damn mouth shut, but you know Miyu, ever the eccentric wildcat,"_ Krystal said and Fox could picture her shrugging her shoulders like it was no big deal.

" _How do you even tell someone that!? Falco, Slippy, Bill and I don't know even the first thing about our various love lives!"_ Fox snapped, plopping the cold can into a pot on the stove.

" _I'm sorry, Foxy-Woxy,"_ Krystal cooed. _"I don't know how it started, but one thing led to another and I started to feel inadequate compared to those rowdy girls and… well… I kind of blurted out all the weird things you like to do."_

" _Couldn't you have just lied? Oh wait, you can't! You suck at lying,"_ Fox said and sighed aloud. _"Tell that dirty cat mouth that soup will be ready in about ten minutes."_

" _Thanks, honey. I swear I'll make it up to you,"_ Krystal promised and just as Fox thought he was going to feel the solitude of an unshared mind, Krystal spoke up again. _"And while you're there, could you make some sandwiches?"_

" _WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SANDWHICHES!?"_ Fox snapped just before Krystal cut the connection. Her giggling still echoing in his mind.


End file.
